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action → backdated to like the 9th idk
Date: 2021-03-15 03:35 am (UTC)Case in point: Angelica arrives early, and by the time Shirou meets her in the afternoon, she has already paid to rent her equipment. She's certainly dressed down from the last time they had met, a rented pair of skates tucked under her arm as she greets him in a simple, durable cotton dress. ]
Good afternoon, Shirou. Have you ever been skating before?
[ He had agreed, but... Of course, that is a separate matter from what she just asked, and the question is normal and natural small talk. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-17 01:31 am (UTC)Well, not exactly... [ He'd never really made time for something like that. In the first place, he'd never really paid attention to all of the fun places in Fuyuki until Rin dragged him there. ] but it's simple enough, right? I can get the hang of it.
[ And besides, it was definitely a good option. It was a simple fun activity, and they could each pay for themselves... even if Shirou would've paid for both of them if he had the chance. Fortunately, she's already rented a pair, so he just settled for paying for his own pair of skates. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-20 10:56 pm (UTC)If you have trouble, I can guide you. [ With his skates also paid for, she turns to lead him toward the rink. ] The largest hurdle will be learning to balance yourself. Once you've mastered that, the rest is easy, and... Satisfying.
[ If Angelica has ever sounded sheepish, it would be with that last word. It must be her demonic tendencies that allow her to take pleasure in something like that, but... She shouldn't question a gift, she supposes. That's why, as they reach the edge of the rink, she doesn't hesitate to sit at its edge and strap on her skates. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-20 11:19 pm (UTC)[ He smiles sheepishly, following her toward the rink and starting to strap on his own skates. Surely, it has to be easier than most of the stuff he's done, right? Like survive Servants, practice magecraft, and so forth. Simple, right?
...well, just as he gets the skates on and stands up... ]
W-WHOAAA...!
[ And he's falling backward. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-21 12:26 am (UTC)Once she is upright, though, she feels fine. She looks back at Shirou... Just in time to see his wobbling attempts to right himself turn into a backwards pitch. ]
Careful! [ She realizes the words are redundant by the time they're already leaving her mouth, but such is the way of things. Her tail whips forward, catching around one of his knees; her hand reaches out to catch his elbow on the opposite side.
She's large and heavy enough from the Fog's blessing that his momentum doesn't manage to yank her downward, as it easily could have. It does send her skates rolling across the floor, though, and the two of them drift daintily over the smooth surface of the rink as she pulls him back to standing.
...They're close. She hadn't thought far enough ahead to know what to do now that she has caught him, so instead, she just focuses from unslithering her tail from around his pant leg. Her other hand comes up to take the forearm across from it, buoying him with a hand wrapped above each wrist. ]
Are you steady?
[ She asks him that, but as if she expects a lie, she looks downward, peering at his legs for any worrisome wobbling. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-21 01:03 am (UTC)Y-Yeah, I'm fine...
[ His legs are a bit unsteady, but not exactly wobbly. In any case, he can't stay this close forever, especially when staying this close doesn't exactly say much for looking cool. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-21 05:19 am (UTC)Very well, [ she says, and that is all the warning he receives before her hands come away from his arms. She lets her skates coast backwards, giving him the room to stand on his own—or to fall, as the case may be. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-21 07:46 pm (UTC)[ He's definitely wobbly a bit, holding his arms out to the side in order to stay balanced. Fortunately, at the very least he's not falling. ]
This... is harder than I thought...
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-01 09:01 pm (UTC)(In truth, she hadn't had much trouble with it, but... The way her steadying wings are unfurled at either side may have something to do with her balancing act.)
She gives him another glance over, down to his wobbling legs. Without a word of warning, she reaches out again, her fingers gently wrapping around his palms as she glides backwards to guide him through the motions of using his legs. It's better than leaving him to flounder until he figures out how to bear his weight alone, she figures. ]
Here. Like this.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-01 09:20 pm (UTC)I-I see...
[ "Come on, get ahold of yourself, idiot" he mentally tries to tell himself (to no avail). He tries to focus instead on trying to get ahold of his balance... which leads to him thinking about the fact that he probably looks pretty dumb, right about now.
Well, if nothing else, that spurs him on. It takes a bit, but he manages to stabilize himself... if only to save his own dignity. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-01 09:40 pm (UTC)As she expected, though, motion teaches him balance quicker than standing still. It takes just long enough that when she releases his hands, her own feel warm as they drop back to her sides. ]
How does it feel?
[ It's still a rather leisurely pace by her standards, her wings twitching here and there to guide her through and idly curling path as she sails backwards. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-01 09:56 pm (UTC)A little better... I think I'm getting the hang of it...
[ He's able to match this pace, at least, as it's certainly not the hardest thing he's had to do. Still, it's a little strange, doing something like this... which briefly flashes him back to the date that Rin had dragged him on so long ago. Even now, having 'fun' still felt strange to him. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-05 08:49 pm (UTC)Would you like to try going a bit faster, then?
[ She doesn't want to just leave him behind, but... Admittedly, what she had enjoyed about this before was the physicality of it, her body answering the feel of air rushing by her head and the hard work of her legs in a way that her heart maybe couldn't. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-12 04:33 pm (UTC)[ He's figuring it out, after all, and he doesn't want to keep looking like a total beginner to her. He wasn't really close to Angelica's level of control yet, but still... he's gotta at least try and look cool, right?
As if he didn't nearly fall over earlier.]Hup...!
[ He straightens his back a bit and continues after her, he himself didn't look stiff, but his tail certainly did as he tried to match Angelica's pace. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-16 04:31 am (UTC)She also notices that where she turns, the humans are quick to skate clear of her path.
She can't say she blames them for it—and yet, an impulse to chase teases at her mind. Not to hunt, but simply to torment.
It's simply part or her new nature, she knows. Yet, it draws a frown to her face. Over her shoulder, half-hidden by the white of her wing, she glances to Shirou, seeking for any change in his own expression. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-16 04:46 am (UTC)Still, the way the natives make sure to skate away from them is... disheartening, as well as...
...no, he can't let himself think that. They're humans, just like him... or rather, just like what he was. Still, maybe he should've packed some lunch... he might not have eaten enough for breakfast today. Still, he decides to just focus on skating for now... though just skating would get awkward after a while, wouldn't it? ]
So... you enjoy this kind of stuff, Angelica?
[ A totally normal starter to normal small talk... to be honest, it's so hard for him to read Angelica sometimes that it's hard to be sure what to say around her. It's definitely different from when he would talk to someone like Taiga... or Sakura... or Rin... maybe this is just what happens when two people devoid of the need to have fun interact. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-16 07:33 am (UTC)It's... [ Normally, she would say that a doll doesn't have preferences—but she isn't a doll anymore, even if the damage done remains the same. Instead, she answers, ] Physical exertion releases endorphins, a type of chemical that triggers positive feelings in the body. Therefore, enjoying such things is a simple matter of chemistry.
[ She says, like a human being. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-17 02:22 am (UTC)Uh, yeah, I guess...
[ Truth be told, the stuff about chemistry flies about halfway over his head. Meaning that he get what she was saying but at the same time, ?????? ]
...
[ Well, this is an awkward silence. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-17 02:38 am (UTC)What about you? You live an active lifestyle. [ She says this with more certitude than is perhaps appropriate, but so far as she knows, it's true. ] Doesn't exercise help you relax?
[ Not that relaxation exactly the point, but... Lately, she has been drawn more and more to using physical sensation as a replacement for such things. It has helped—some. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-17 02:50 am (UTC)[ ...huh, this conversation feels familiar. It almost feels like yesterday when he'd talked to Rin about a similar topic under a starry night sky. She'd told him that even though it was hard, she still enjoyed it, which was why she could keep going. In response, he'd answered honestly how he didn't exactly have fun practicing magecraft. It seemed reasonable, since his form of practice was unnecessarily dangerous at the time... but that had set her off, and the next day, she'd dragged him and Saber off on a date.
...good memories, and it's not like he doesn't understand why she got mad back then now. Still, he's already started to answer Angelica, so... ]
...really. I exercised everyday, but to me, that was just routine.
[ Though... something that helped him relax... hm... ]
Though... I do relax whenever I'm cooking.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-17 03:16 am (UTC)For myself, cooking was routine. When there was no longer anyone else to do it, I prepared meals for the Ainsworth family, but that was simply a responsibility.
[ The exercise is a new part of her lifestyle, too, but that's besides the point now. She inclines her head, just slightly, as she considers something. ]
Would you have enjoyed making dinner for us both instead?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-17 05:21 am (UTC)[ Well, Angelica would have a skillset like that, wouldn't she? Just going off of what he's heard about the Ainsworths... other than that another version of him opposed them. Still, would he have enjoyed making them both dinner... ]
Hm... I can't say I wouldn't. I just like making food for people.
[ Especially recently... it brought back some good memories. To be honest, he hadn't realized how much he took presences such as Fuji-nee or Sakura for granted until he came here and ended up spending... so much time here.
Well, of course, he'd realized that as soon as they stopped coming for the Grail War... but he'd expected that to be temporary. Now months have flown by and he's still here in Ryslig, having already been here longer than the entire Grail War. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-17 03:31 pm (UTC)[ Even though, when she had spoken to others, she hadn't wanted to presume a next time would happen. She rolls herself nearer to him, pushing her skates slowly around. ]
In the meantime, would you like to go around the rink again?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-18 01:44 am (UTC)[ To be honest, he's getting the hang of it... though as he says that, he feels an ache in his stomach and presses a hand to it. Strange, he definitely had a full meal earlier. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-18 02:47 am (UTC)The way the humans give them a wide berth makes it easy to guide Shirou to a less populated spot on its perimeter. This time, when she drifts to a halt, she fully turns to face him, and one of her hands comes up to settle a gentle touch against his upper arm.
Quiet enough for only the two of them to hear, she says, ] You still haven't visited the soup kitchen, have you.
[ It's intended as more of a question, but it comes out flat. Again, she thinks of Miyu, and she wonders: is he really just that opposed to the loss of innocent life, regardless of the ultimate cost? ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-29 09:43 pm (UTC)[ He goes silent, averting his eyes... and not because of anything related to Angelica's appearance, this time. Of course he hadn't visited the soup kitchen... it was handing out human meat. That's the whole reason why Angelica had recommended the damn place to him. By all rights, going to the soup kitchen was the correct choice if he didn't want to take innocent lives himself.
...but he can't help but feel angry as he thinks of the place. Of course, it definitely helps other monsters... he knows it's correct.
...but as he once said before, just because it's correct, that doesn't mean it's right.
That human meat didn't come from nowhere. People were definitely hunted for it, and it was just... getting handed out there.
As food.
Frankly, it made him want to vomit. Especially when he thought of how he might have to eat something like that. At the same time, though, how could he possibly denounce the place? He's seen the age of some of the monsters here... the youngest he's interacted with was a 14-year-old boy, and he's seen younger.
It was a dilemma that reminded him a lot of Servants and how they could eat souls to gain magical energy. He remembers how Saber had been so wholeheartedly against that, and he'd agreed.
So now, he was just... stuck. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-30 04:53 am (UTC)In the end, Angelica is the one to break it. ]
Shirou, if you don't eat, all you will accomplish is a mindless rampage. [ Unbidden, she recalls Javert's suggestion to smuggle it into his food herself. Still, though it may prove necessary, she doesn't wish to stoop to such deception just yet. ] Can you not understand that, sometimes, we must make sacrifices to minimize the harm we cause?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-30 08:03 pm (UTC)[ ...he didn't mean to raise his voice, but he did. Even now he can feel the hunger creeping on him. He's tried to ignore it, saying that he probably didn't eat enough for breakfast... but he knows.
He knows what it is.
Still, he clenches his fists in frustration, his hands shaking for a moment before he relaxes his arms... though a scowl is still on his face. ]
Of course I understand that...
[ Even before the Holy Grail War, he was aware. Kiritsugu had made it clear, after all. Saving everyone simply isn't possible, and at the time, he'd stubbornly tried to save everyone regardless... even to his own detriment. ]
I already know... I can't save everyone, no matter how hard I try... but even so, I...
[ He has to at least try. That was his answer to himself, that even if it was hypocritical and not his own ideal... that the ideal was beautiful, and therefore worth pursuing. He'd accepted that he couldn't save everyone, but he had still resolved to try.
But it was considerably harder to put into practice in a place like this... and it frustrated him to no end.
Because he didn't have an answer yet, and his time was running out. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-30 08:16 pm (UTC)She reaches for his wrist, and as she takes it, she begins to wheel him toward the exiting edge of the rink. ]
Do you know how a demon feeds?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-30 08:48 pm (UTC)[ He's a bit surprised when she grabs his wrist, but before he can say anything concerning that... she asks him a question. ]
How...? I think you mentioned it on the network...
[ He scrunches his face a little. It's probably because of everything that happened, but... he can't really say he remembers. ]
Sorry, I don't...
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-30 09:14 pm (UTC)[ She stops at the edge of the rink, standing before a ledge where they're meant to sit and remove their skates, and meets his eyes. ]
The body we leave behind is alive, but an empty husk. That's why I am always sure to take the remains and leave them to the soup kitchen. Instead of three humans dying to feed three monsters, I can take the burden of that transgression and kill one to feed two others.
[ It's a mechanical way to speak about human life, and she realizes as much—but within the life that has been chosen for them now, that impassive calculus is the only way they have to balance the scales of good and evil. How may they take the least lives? Which lives cause the least pain to take?
Her fingers tighten around his hand, imploring. ]
That life would be taken regardless. All you have to do is ensure none of that sacrifice goes to waste.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-04-30 09:47 pm (UTC)Things were different here, weren't they?
Still, that doesn't stop Shirou's expression from turning sour again, with him averting his eyes from hers despite her trying to meet his. He wants to say something, he wants to yell at her that it's still wrong.
But in a place like this, where a choice is never given in the first place, he can't. ]
...Damn it!
[ It's irrational, it's not going to solve anything, but the frustration at everything Angelica has said... from the logic of it all to the mechanical treatment of human life. It bubbles up inside him with nowhere else to go and he ends up swinging his hand at the railing. His strength is still more than he's used to, and the railing bends slightly... though that doesn't stop his hand from hurting after striking it.
He remembered this feeling all to well. It was just like when he was confronted by the embodiment of his own ideals. He was correct, even if he wasn't right. Now he's faced with a similar dilemma all over again in the form of Angelica's words.
And this time, he doesn't have an answer to it. ]
...so? Where are you going with this...
(no subject)
Date: 2021-05-01 12:51 am (UTC)I'm asking you to let me help you.
[ It isn't that she doesn't understand his feelings. Rather, it's because she does that she keeps hold of his hand. ]